> PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT FOR THE BIKER
>
> This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is an
> arrangement
> that accepts the perpetual continuity of pre-existing relationship
between
> the first two parties and that a three-way coexistence shall be created
> consisting of the following participants:
>
> Spouse A (the non biking loved one) hereafter referred to as SA; Spouse B
> (the biker) hereafter referred to as SB, and; The Bike (the glorious one)
> hereafter referred to as TB.
>
> Condition I: Acknowledgment SA shall henceforth recognize that SB and TB
> have forged a long standing and unbreakable relationship and shall never
> attempt to permanently divide, or otherwise separate the two.
>
> Condition II: Cohabitation SA and SB shall agree upon comfortable and
> equal
> living quarters for TB, its related service equipment and riding gear. TB
> shall only be exposed to the elements of nature during rides. All other
> times TB shall have access to warm, dry, low traffic living space. If at
> any
> time there should be conflict w/ SA, SB or furniture, TB shall have
> preference as to where it stays. In SA's absence TB shall be permitted
> bedroom space (if not already arranged).
>
> Condition III: Exclusivity and Infidelity At no time shall SA, SB, or TB
> be
> loaned out to be ridden by anyone outside the three-way relationship. SA
> must request from SB permission to ride, fondle or otherwise physically
> contact TB and only do so in the presence of SB.
>
> Condition IV: Equal Time SA shall be guaranteed quality time equivalent
to
> TB unless it conflicts with TB in which case TB gets preference. Service
> time shall be guaranteed and considered a separate requirement. In the
> event
> of emergency, ie SA stranded, child sets hair on fire etc, SB shall
> complete
> whatever TB related activity as soon as possible and attend said
> emergency.
> In the event of a in-law visit or should for any reason, SB become
> depressed, or otherwise in need of stress relief, SB shall be permitted
as
> much time w/TB or TB related activities, magazines, books, events etc as
> needed until such time SB feels better.
>
> Condition V: Parts SA and SB will agree that SB be permitted and
> encouraged
> to purchase any and all TB related equipment at any and all times,
whether
> they be repairs, replacements, upgrades, or just plain Chi-Chi. Any
> replaced
> parts shall be considered cherished spares and provided appropriate
> storage
> space equivalent to that provided for TB, preferably under the bed,
> favorite
> closet or on coffee table as a conversation item. New Items immediately
> installed shall require TB to be put on prominent display (ie in front of
> TV). Newly purchased items not immediately installed shall be put on
> display
> as a centerpiece during the day and they shall be kept under the pillow
of
> SB at bed time, unless it is potentially dangerous to said part. This
> shall
> be for no less than 5 days or until they are installed whichever comes
> first.
>
> Condition VI: Finance All household finance shall be considered separate
> from TB finance. If conflict should arise then TB gets preference.
>
> Condition VII: Disposition In the event SA has a compatible bike SB can
> offer spare parts to be temporarily installed for use by SA until such
> time
> SB requires their use on TB. No prior notice is required. All equipment
> and
> The Bike they are installed upon or intended for, shall remain the
> property
> of SB come hell or high water, and shall not be relinquished under any
> circumstance including death, in which case the surviving party will be
> obligated to complete the upgrades (expressed, implied or dreamed of)and
> bury the bike with the departed, unless TB or SB requests a separate
grave
> in which case they shall be buried side by side and SA shall not be
buried
> between them.
>
> Condition VIII: Protected Communications All TB related communications
> intended for SB, be they voice (phone messages, visitors); print
> (mail-order
> catalogues, etc.); or electronic (e-mail, buddies calling to ride, etc.)
> shall be forwarded and delivered to SB as expediently as possible.
> Furthermore, no censorship of said communications shall occur, and SA
> agrees
> to refrain from making disparaging comments about the content of these
> communications and/or their source(s).
>
> Extended Conditions: TB shall never be the focus of an argument nor
> brought
> up as part of one. TB shall never be discussed w/ in-laws unless said
> discussion is in praise or defense of TB. No retaliation shall ever be
> taken
> against TB.
>
> All of the above is to be considered iron-clad and in stone and non
> negotiable, unless of course, the nonbiker says so.
>
>
>