New stuff is at the bottom

Excuse list by #
1 - I had to mow the lawn
2 - I rode last night
3 - I had sex last night
3a- my ass is sore from riding so much
3b - #3 does not include "power" "tools"
3c - I had sex with a prostitute last night 
and I will be slower than a CRAB, and im not
talking about one of those soft shells you 
ate at the resteraunt last night, please keep 
the tricks on the trails.
4 - I left my bike in my other car
5 - I dont have a light
6 - I dont have a front wheel
7 - im getting married
8 - there's this really cool show on TV
9 - I am road riding ie pavement tour
10 - I am climbing instead of riding
11 - I have a headache
12 - I am having surgery
13 - I have misc. errands to run
14 - im getting a haircut, pedicure or theraputic massage
15 - im going to a message parlor
16 - I am in jail
17 - I am on house arrest and get shocked when I leave my property, these driveway rides are getting old
18 - I gave blood today - (seniore P)
19 - I dont have my bike shoes, oh wait, here they are in the woods (pit)
20 - I worked today. (one of my favorites)
21 - I have mono - (shake & bake)
22 - (Insert Indian name) is too far for me to drive and make the ride
time. (Barbie)
23 - The traffic on the Sikorsky Bridge sucked so I bailed. (Barbie)
24 - It was too (insert weather condition). ie: hot, cold, sunny, rainy,
snowy (Loyd)
25 - im riding with electronics (easy guys)
26 - My penis fell out of my pants and got caught in the spokes (again)
27 - I have a stick impaled in my leg. (Natch)
28 - I broke my fourth metacarpal bone. (Barbie)
29 - I broke my wrist. (Slippah)
30 - I'm stuck at a rest stop on I-95.
31 - I am chicken and lame
32 - It was dark
33 - My bitch was going away so I had to get some - anonymouse - I mean Crash whipped CW
Epic excuse #34 - I was supposed to be working, but, I went golfing, then drinking, then drinking, 
then I was trapped under a hairy stripper and the next thing you know, its thursday morning
my head is still trembling and my face is plastered all over the second page of the
hartford courant.
35 - I live in VT now and the cheddar cheese factory I work for would not let me out until I milked every cow
in the pasture dry. MIA girl (still milking).
36 - I am still recovering from last years party
37 - This is embarrasing - I can't ride because I have Hemmeroids
38 - Can't, Bro!  Have to go to a Wake.
39 - My dog went in to have his nuts chopped off today and I have to pick him up tomorrow - 
poor bastard (true story). - sock stuffer
40 - I got a wicked sun-burn today and its too hot..  Miss 15
41 - My frame is broken - focker, and everyone else it seems these days
42 - I flipped granny over last night but she still doesn't feel good - Pregnant Dave
43 - I decided to drink iced tea and watch "Top Secret" - ankle biter
44 - Excuse # %#$#!%#@^% My wif'es contractions were 7 minutes apart today and she may need someone to throw shoes at by 7:00p.m. J
45 - my wrist is limp.  its still sore from monday, and its  difficult to grip stuff. S&B after BOO-BOO at westwoods
46 - cant ride - I'm going to hob nob with some preppy scum in Mystic
47 - I will use excuse # 872. If I ride in this type of cold weather I will get a severe case of frost bite on my 
legs that will cause them to fall off. Thereby rendering me useless for next season. Steel Neil - or Scooter
48 - My front tire is on backwards - PM
49 - I have carpet tunnel syndrome.
50 - I already rode the "bone" today..
51 - A wagon wheel landed on my head and I cant fit my helmet on - FOcker
52 - I left my cross country bike in my other car

New
53 - There was a squirrel running on the log in front of me, so I had to stop - Gi Jane at the Res..