Day 6 schuerman Mtn. 9 miles 1000 vertical “striper gummer bingo”

                Today Scooter is 24 so we planned on a nice short flat smooth ride in his honor – Well that was a good thought anyway.  Good technical climb for our sore legs.  Crash and Burn is on!  We all – even crash test did some hike a bike on the way up – I actually only dabbed 3 times (50 ft each) – ok they were smears.  To the top for 2 spur views – crazy trails – super rocky and lined with cactus.   Many followed my line regrettably – Crash test crashed hard on some gnarly single track section but had a nice cactus and pointy rock to break his fall.  Long graduall downhill, some sweet sections, great views, lots of needles.  Scooter got some “free” acupuncture.  Focker road ahead for movies.  “I used to bowl when I was an alcoholic” – sorry just a side-note..  Crash bros both, almost clean the gnarliest deadly section – see movies.  Down to yet another view for more xmas pics.  Steepish downhill with steps, to road..  We see a trail across the street (kuchina stables), and crash and burn and I check it out – cool stuff – red rock single track with some ledges, steep ups, downs and drops..  U-turn – road ride after CT fix’s yet another flat.  Focker scopes stunts ahead..  Road ride with sideshow rock riding – onward to 89?  We missed red rock pathway as I thought it was a realty sign..  U-turn – red rock pathway – Way cool rock riding on the edge, similar to fruita stuff, to gravel suck the life out of you up – to car.  Mexican lunch – Shopping in Sedona – the girl with the tattoo – tonys girl on her back asks focker and I if we know where the spirit stones were.  Again – we left the wedding tackle at home..  Walk through Sedona with bike shorts and you will be beating the tourists off with a stick!!  “did you ride a…. BIKE to… day”  Lisa #3 look alike is stalking us..Focker gets some bad coffee.  Then LUTC finds a digital camera on a park bench…  so..  We look at the pics and try to find the people..  No dice..  Back to town..      

“my wrist is sore, I think I need to give it a day off”

“sedona has 200 miles of trails”  - so what are we supposed to do the rest of the week?

LUTC – can take a crop of it, or crop it out – get out the gas masks – sh!t there sold out

No dumping

4.5 bald beavers, but scooter, if they weren’t bald they’d be gray..

Day6 evening – So we leave crash test at home to boil water for the hotub and head to Sedona for scooters 24 th bday drinks..  This place is dead – don’t they know its hump day??  So we end up at the cowboy club or something in west Sedona.  Rounds of drinks, shots.. Scooter “jon you ever have 3 wise men?” – no have you – “yes” that makes you look more gay..     Bryan says, if I keep this up youll have to carry me home – the chick next to him says “that’s the best way to go home” – she has been ordering double shots since we arrived and now CB is trying to turn his back on an attempted conversation..  So I reluctantly ask the bartender – so when does this place get hopping?? Steer horns above bar were supposedly 4” from the world record – Yeah I have something in my pants that’s a bout 4” from a world record too and you don’t see me putting it on a plaque and mounting it.   She says we are closing soon….  Hey I can tell you some places to go – so she guides us back to a bar that is approx 50 feet from our house in oak creek…  Meanwhile we learn a new term – when you order a tequila shot with “ training wheels” its with lime and salt..  So we end up at PJ’s – Cool smokey bar with 3 pool tables and PEOPLE..  Right away we are talking with the locals and shooting games of pool..  We meet peppermint patty and boyfriend mad mike (he is mad because he got fired today – we found out later)..  So P.P. not to be confused with princess pam or prince puke – is rapping with  me about mountain biking so after she is introduced to everyone I give her the scoop on everyones nick names.  So Loyd gets a shot in and she screams GO LUTC..  To funny – caught him off  guard..  So CB is lucky enough to be the spitting image of a relative of the table full of blondes next to us and gets harassed once again..  Magie may (huchie mamma) the bartender from CC finally shows up as promised and takes CB and I on at billiards.  Her partner Jennifer was an ringer, im sure proffesional of some sort nailing those balls left and right..  mad mike and PP say goodbye but MM is FOCKING with bryan (pretending to pull bugs out of his hair) – so Scooter confronts him quite BOLDLY – MM backs down and leaves..  Meanwhile CB and I win the billiards game but supposedly Jen purposely sunk the cue on the 8 (she had a phone call)..  MM comes back in to apologize to CB and scooter – both reject with clenched fists, so he leaves again only to have loud wild sex with PP later on waking up Poor Magie may who lives below..  Yes and this is just wed night out here..  It appears if you want to pickup a girl in a bar out here you just kick her in the but and if she is game – she kicks you back..