If you didnt hear about this ride, its because, you suck, and im sick of dragging your grappling hook ass along on the rides.. Just kidding, actually this ride kind of coagulated, in the new case parking lot, at 6 pm sharp.. PM, PMD, FOcker, THCM, HLM, NB, Rookie, Cookie, Mad Mike (riding on 10 year old carbon, just to be different)..
Before we start, rookie is getting changed in the middle of the road, next to his condo on wheels and a cop pulls up, everyone yells "ROOKIE!!!", he will be a rookie for at least another 8 years..
Onward, THCM leads the pack, rookie and I draft until the murano runs out of gas.. Rook in the #2 position what is up with that??? To hairpin, log ride, focker gets his free ride on, airborne 1/2 the time.. Up to metavomit, focker hammering middle 2, HLM likes the warmup.. To the illusive metavomit trail, WE FIND IT!! Slug rock, focker cant "get it up" and slides down on his ankle and back, quite skillfully.. I show HLM the line, he gets it up but QM's the "going down".. To fockers nemesis beginner ramp, think he dabbed, I hucked, others road, or steered around.. To chair stunt - Rookie follows my line - with so much finnese - I look twice - and still doubt its really him - does he have a twin - HLM cleans it with style and a smile... PMD working on pancake death bridge.. Catch up, rookie is waiting, to show me my own line before the stream crossing - nice.. TIght tree, onward, to wide ass ramp - Cookie gets it - Sweeet - HLM dives off the nose, Me and rookie too, plus the optional second roller - good sequence.. PMD has trouble on the up, waits for the crowd to leave and gets it.. Roller to see saw - See saw is dead - Cookie gets the roller, PMD and NB take the steep line.. Mad Mike is amused at the raft bridge, Fock deems it semi safe, PMD, NB, cookie all get it.. NB took the slalom line, ok I can open my eyes now.. The girls are riding like Charlie's angels tonight, yes I would hope that im Charlie... Maybe I should give stunt lessons or instructions through an intercom system, good episode for the movie.... Anyway - To spur, Roller one, I hit for the sheer pain of it, sleezy, wow, almost died last time on the bullit - HLM all over it - take the BUTT UGLY LINE, makes it using every bit of his suspension and body English, not to mention tire and seat cush, and some bone and flesh compaction, I could hear the aluminum cry out in pain.
Rookie STILL up front with me and fock - What the fock - Good job!! THCM is lacking coffee or donuts or something tonight - never seen him so NOT free ride, whoever stole his mojo, give it back.. To magnet stunt, been a biatch for me lately, but I flash it, rookie follows.. Down ramp has a hole in it so I quickly get out the yellow #9 safety tape.. Rookie wants me to make some yellow rungs.. Need I say it.?? Focker falls on his fock head and is laying in a pile of rocks, twisted in his bike like a pretzyl, but seems in good spirits.. To red, swamp line I fock up, focker then gets it up, but doesnt know where to go down, rookie goes up and goes down in the wrong place, but makes the tight squeeze.. I then go up and down, finally showing the crowd that is no longer there, where the reall line is.. PMD stays and works on her line, scolding the blur every time - "bad blur".. To big rock on red, up and over, rookie follows, U-turn, new line, Again up and over - rook follows with but a smear on the top, take 2 = clean.. Im so impressed, its like GI lent you some blood.. Where is PMD, here she is, onward to yellow.. Blur climbs like a tank, unblievable - to blue, I want left, hlm wants right, check the mission plan and mission plan says left..
Run into 24 hour guy on blue who needs map, yes like we have one... To hard up blue - mad mike cleans, anyone else ?? Fock?? Rook almost - HLM did a really funny top of hill wheelie flip.. To ledge down, rookie gets the crazy log wheelie gap drop that crash burn died on, he ROLLED it, nice - I QM'ed with every excuse in the book - I suck - rookie im not worthy to ride with you any more... More ledge trail, illegalish, fun lines, COOKIE rode like a pro and was all smiles, huck at the bottom - whoo - hoo.. What huck, I know... Up carriege path the roadies race to the top, fly past me, and wait by the drop.. Focker way way up front, gets ahead, turns around, and plays chicken with the group.. To chiminey trail - To 1 footer.. THCM finally steps up to the plate with 2 perfect wheelie drops.. NB has trouble, gets it up, way up, but cant keep it up, and does a face plant.. Me, PMD, COokie and rookie stay for wheelie drop 101.. PMD gets a couple really nice ones, and after some fly by's cookie finally gets a couple too..
Dark ride home - rookie is lost, back to the car, find a note from Fock and THMP - TIger - Rookie and I are still sick from last trip, no can do.. Good game - great ride
Rating - a FULL FIve lactating nipples since I ran out of half and half and need coffee.. Thats it..