Yup - another mug nite.. Case ride with Gi-Janes posse.. I was going to bail but PMD insisted on my presents.. So it was, for the most part, GI jane riding with the boxxer (yes he traded in kona), Super Skirt SSK, Splatt, Andrea?, Beastmaster arriving in bug with dogs, Injured Mark, Shake and Bake (or as GI says - "shake & sweep"), Pukemaster (Riding A&W), PMD, Brick, Dennis, & the invisible man, Joe dirt and some dogs.. So GI took the hint after my last vc recrap and suddenly learned all the names of his crew, its amazing!! I was impressed, but tired due to lack of kaffeen.. So we are off like a jack and GI cant get 50 feet without running into dog mudd. Ok, I confess, I slipped the D-O-G's some x-lax so they would be too busy whiping there buts to cut me off.. So GI Cleans POOh and the rest ride.. SPlatt on my ass with his new shock called the mystery T.. Passes at the top, PMD not far behind.. So beastmasters dog mystery decided to pull an LUTC and bail on the ride.. Or was vaughn just pulling goekler?? I did see him in the parking lot at the beginning and end of the ride!! I guess mystery just prefers the toilet behind the vet for loose bowel movements.. Ok - we ride on... Smelly gi in the lead slinging kona mudd over his otherwise polished fenders.. I tried to keep up but the smell was just killing me, and my avid breaks are locked on.. Kona gets me back for the laced scooby snacks and cuts me off at my favorite 1.3 foot drop.. Damm.. I bushwack, splatt passes.. GI talks of rock drop, but skips the reallll drop that JD and I huck.. I stood on top of GI's rock and contemplated as I wondered what QM would do in this sitiation.. Left, to red, to spur we split up.. Of course the girls came with me towards the stunt trail (PMD, S&B, Brick), the rest rushed home in fear of turning into a pumpkin pie... So we rode the new new new trail, it was pretty good, I wonder what the name of this gem is.. NEW TRAIL!!?? I would name it like the unemployed OBGYN anti-dog switchback trail.. To arrowhead I wheelie off and see garter belt in the distance AGAIN.. DEJA-puke? He finally makes the up to arrow.. PMD cleans the tire biter on and off but not the middle yet.. VERY impressive, and im not just saying that so I can get some.. I notice that my avid brakes are locking up, bent arm, fock - this production bike is disposable - do I have to make everything??? Rookie makes 2 huge ups that I daba-duch-bag on - yes new word - when you dab and blame it on your disc brakes because you are a duche.. how do you spell douche anyway?? well im sure my disc brakes will need a douching after tonight anyway.. Maybe I got the new disposable avid breaks.. Anyway - Back home on blue - PMD way up front in the dark, guided by a bright yellow bike, I piss on some trees in search of more new trails.. To carriege path - home.. Slow pace but good ride!!
Rating, 3 steaming dog piles, which reminds me of this discovery channel show I was falling asleep to tuesday night.. These archeologists where digging gently through the sand with brush's and uncovered some 1000 year old dung.. They were so f'ing excited it was hilarious!! Another scientist came running over and they started disecting it, inspecting contents like hair and such.. So these scientist were so crazy they added water to the petrified dung and started sniffing the test tube.. They were so impressed that after one thousand years, sh!t still smells like sh!t. So although GI J is not a scientist, on last nights right he also concluded that dog sh!t smells like crap..
PM