Previous Ride plans went out the window when PIT called me and informed me of a Bikerag.com founders reunion.  The original gangstas were getting together, to ride..   I thought the falls was a strange debut, but we are a diverse and strange crowd..  So - its Natch Johnson, PIT, MBM (Man Boy Madigan?), Slippah, Trouble, Puke, PMD, Crash, Joe Dirt, Hot Lips, NB, HLM, Rookie, Cookie, TTT, Dr. Suess showed up but it looked a little cloudy, so he bailed..  Good parking lot talk right away, discussion about finesse with HLM, PMD explains, Matt, ok "imagine you are a cheerleeder....." I chime in "and your having sex with other cheerleeders"  OK what does this have to do with wheelie dropping, finesse and broken blurs - NOTHING, but lesbian sex always makes you forget about your occasional lack of finesse..

6:00 - We are off like a prom dress in one big train wreck of a group..  TO stunts, I point out "allota-fagina" - "thats allota-fagina" - "allota-fagina is good", crash pulls up "hey allota-fagina"..   So rookie pulls out the new camera because he wants to get crash test riding allota-fagina..   Slippah walks in the woods, is looking at the 1 foot DROP in the transition ramp and is like "what like this is a big deal?, Ill ride this"..  Slipah failed to notice the north shore ramp that was over his head as crash was about to land on him - he understands now..   CT lands the santa cruz 747 like a champ..  Onward, Joe dirt hucks twice, rookie hucks once, to steep rock line, PMD whipes it, goes back for retro-bution..  Uphilling..   Rookie on my ass - if he gets any closer he will be in my ass..   To Fire road down, up diminishing trail over log, stream, downhill..  Hot lips comes down all fired up, brings the conversation down, I forget how, but manages to bring up that she likes my balls again, even though I dont have my balls with me today..

To heart attack hill, we witness trail maintenance on the way up..  TTT up second, MBM third (out of shape my ass), and then the rest..   TO ridge trail, or heart attack extension, to more ridge, cool slickrock section, drop to bank turn I decide to go for style points and almost end up in the bushes..  To off camber garden, im riding it fast, CT passes with no braines, I mean brakes, nice line...At some point Mad dog is having trouble with technicalities, calls himself a fag, then wonders why he is being a fag, then thinks back to all the boy meets boy hes been watching lately - Slippah is familair with this show..

To jeep road, back to base area - CT and JOE dirt leave us to get there free ride on..  We continue on soup can yellow..   Rookie, second up soup can cleans it!!   We wait at the top after the big up, lots of dabs on the big up..  Hot lips rides the bush line, trouble eagerly follows..   PMD gets it after a couple tries, but still points to the bush..  Finally, its "all downhill to the car", off camber tight rock, roller to tree, log to quick up, to double down.. 

Its off to PITS for barbie-que..   The original trail surfers meet after some carbo-loading, for, more carbo-loading..  PIT and mrs PIT tell stories about whack neighbors, who streak pee and mulch at the drop of a hat (on their property that is)..  Crazy albanians..  Good thing mr PIT joined fight club!!! Just remember the RULES.. Nachos, burgers, picnic goodies, beer, no club soda - im a slacker, beer, beer, and ice cream..  Talks of roadies and lobotomies.. Slippah thinks im a vegitarian, I stick my foot in my mouth and say something like, just about all I eat is meat...  I would have said something crude and witty, like "im a vagitarian", but there were women and children present, and im so PC..  This is a fagathon, but If I stay much longer I will either be attacked by crazy albanian chainsaw massacerist, or turn roadie.. Again this is a fagathon...  So....  I leave early (at 11:11), before things get ugly and since I have a long drive home and since I have to get up early and not work, the excuses lingerie..  You have to read between the lines..

Rating - 5 old buckets of college chunks after an infamouse grain alchohol jello parties, reach in, stir it around, you might find some chicken marinating..

Great ride - Awesome to see the whole crew together again - Fastest ride in a long long time!!! Our group stuck together like a splooge towel in a gay bath house.... See ya next week - PM

PS - Slippah and trouble - when are you coming climbing with us???   Should I put you on the list..