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Smoky Daze at Soapstone
Or
My First Recaparino

By AB

The crew: PM, PMD , TT, Pit and Me


G.D. it. Wouldn't you know it. I get all the way to the Meriden border and
then I remember that my friggin' helmet is still hanging in my basement. I
think that perhaps I should just forget it, continue up 91 and ride "outlaw
biker" style. But after about 5 seconds I realize that I couldn't live with
the social stigma of being perceived as a moron. I go back home to get it,
I wind up being 15 minutes late.

I ask PM if I should wear my crash pads. He told me to use my judgment. I
decide it was too hot for pads. I have poor judgment.

We start riding, PM tells me that he and PMD rode hard the day before and
were going to take it pretty slow today. Fa! We start pedaling on some
trail. PMD points to the a trail that goes to the top of Soapstone...says we
don't need to do it...it's too much of a bitch. Could it be? Could we really
be taking it easy today? (note the foreshadowing, isn't it menacing?)

So we get on some other trail. Most try the roller. I think we all cleaned
it. Then to a big rock. PM points it out to me to drop . I consider it, but
I don't like the flat landing. Seeing how it will take technique I don't
have, I nix it, claiming I'm not warmed up yet.

We headed to Home Depot trail. Before I continue, I must confess: I fell in
love with the impeccable craftmanship of the cedar-stained stunts. The
mysterious author of this trail scribed out notches so that each individual
rung on the bridges fit snugly and securely into its respective carrying
beam. Somebody out there watches the Old YankeeWorkshop. Which would explain
the frighteningly naked Norm Abrams statue erected on the trail.

PM drops off the first stunt. I notice that his technique is flawless. I
think to myself, "this guy would be a fool not to drop 10 feet." On to the
first bridge. TT, Pit, PM clean. I try it backwards. I don't make it. I
try to redeem myself by doing the drop of on the side. I remember to lower
my seat, but I must have forgotten something as a land on my ass and scrape
up my shin (this is where I wish I had better judgment).

On to the next stunt. Yes, I do believe the red bridge was a prop in "High
Plains Drifter," starring Clint Eastwood. Some of you may remember that in
attempt to scare the crap out of the bad guys, Clint Eastwood's character
painted the whole town red, including the only bridge into town. The bad
guys took one look at the bridge and said "There ain't no way we walking on
that---it's too scary." And that was the end of the movie. (or that may
have been the director's cut) Well I think someone snagged the only bridge
into town from location in Italy and flew it back to Conn., so that we may
enjoy its scariness. All clean the red bridge. TT almost cleans the
three-tab shingle bridge ( I would have preferred an architectural style
shingle instead, with a 20-year warranty, of course) but can't quite make
the turn at the end. PMD keeps trying and then got to the top. I can't make
the turn. Pit can't make the turn. PM can't make the turn. TT then gets it

We then notice the smell of smoke. We're thinking the forest is on fire. And
it is...in Quebec.

At V-drop PMD shows how its done, but still no other takers besides moi. I
then try drop PM suggests. Not the prettiest landing (I was going too
slow). Oh thank lordy for 5 inches of pure marzocchi plush.

At handy ramp Pit makes it smoove. TT get to top but runs out of juice. PMD
tries 17 times. Between you and me, I blame the hardtail. PM get bored with
the regular line and cleaned something new.

At cheescake ramp Pit suprises the F out of himself by getting up and over.
TT got on, but a couldn't seal the deal. PMD over and down, ne c'est pas?

Ok. so like we've been riding awhile and then talks starts about some nasty
friggin climb. Everyone's up for it, so I follow the pack. Nasty techincal M
F'er. TT with flat pedals and all get to top. PM screwed by little rock.
PMD, Pit almost make it. The climb took everything out of me. I start
dawdling. PM then tells me about nasty downhill. Says go to the right. I
follow him down. I see him get his boys knocked silly and start
thinking...I'm next. Very scary . We all make it down ok.

One last stunt to go. It was a little downhill that was screwing with PM.
After a little motivation, he winds up kicking its ass.


Ratings (out of a possible 54):

Bugs: 41
Distance: 32
Asskicking: 46
Lameness: -2
Smoke: 50