Piss Yellow gate - 6:00 - its a date - don't be late..  The girls I rode with - QM, Garter Belt, Web mistress, Kev dog (spokeless kevin, or just twang), Focker (still on the pukecycle - its an addiction hes not prowd of), Brick, HJ, PIT, PMD, Puke, HL last but not least shaking and baking..  GI jane wants mention in recaps when he is absent suffering in the heat of crusted butte so I will do him the favor and boost his ego even HIGHER..  So while we rode, SPLATT was home packing fudge (you know for the trip), and GI-Jane was busy putting peanut butter on his bone for his dog kona to lick..  SSK took pictures for beastility today magazine - speaking of which - did you see the last issue ??  The one with the small mouse and large threaded rod inserted in his ass?  that was good...  OK OTTR

Enough already with the formalitities, on to the ride..  Pavement up - to hell - To goat trail dn..  I flat and PMD hits a tree..  HJ working on nose wheelie accidental turns..  I need a pump, a longer pump, thinking dual action with a smart head..  To fire road PMD bails due to high altitude sickness and excessive bark intake..  Up del reeves road (yup Hazardville county - Yeeeee HAwww), im still tired from all that pumping, hogi yogi was making noise like a rusted steel bed in October..  To new new white technical trail - up..  I cleaned everything, sometimes even on the first try, hogi yogi was feelin slack and prime as ever, with the new un-improved hyper-active suspension..  My avocet O2 seat feels so much better than that h20 that was flying up my ass yesterday with QM..  Brick lives up to his name and falls like a ton of himself in the hardest rock garden..  Wheres trouble? everyone asked..  At least PIT is with us!!  To insertion left turn, more fun rocks, I show GB some levitation tricks, but the seemingly lead or is it tin specialized mobile cant follow..  Next insertion - QM spots a drop and rides up to it with very little cry baby style, grabs the brakes, over the bars he lands in a pile of leaves and rat droplets - we leave him..  More cool techs - garden uphill - log pyramid - focker is taking the pukecycle for a jog..  End of trail its kidney rock - HL's favorite..  pm-"youll have to get some side impact air bags" - hl-"I Already have those - squish squish" focker-"HL those are FRONT air bags!"..  Conversation goes progressively downhill at every insertion..   Garter Belt's disposable bike isnt shitting for shift..  I fix it but the added tension on the shifter cable may have crumbled the bike later..

To trail with no line - follow  the hogi yogi classic S-turn, Focker behind..  Joe dirt throwing rocks as usuall with his front wheel..  To up, to French Fry rock..  Im first off without a hitch - felt like FOCKING Suede never mind leather..  HJ contemplates, hucks later landing on a squirrel..  QM - "what gear are you in?" - he cant hear me as hes wearing garter belt style headphones..  Yup if he doesnt bring his pain in the ass dog, he is singing volume 10 all the way down the trail..  Anyway - I just focked myself with more H20..  So qm wheelies off, picnic style, with a barely succesfull landing, but straight, straight down in granny 2..  Thank god for travel...  Next try was better ..  Joe dirt launches thrice with Gi-style (hold the PEEnut butter)!!  Brick of course no problem..  Kev dog contemplates, but cant picture the spokeless landing..  OHH!!  Last but never least Knee Pad wearing Garter belt.. PUlls up his panties and  hucks with unmatchable disssssssssss-coordination - wheel turned, body off camber, tounge out like a cartoon character, feet and legs flailing, all the weight on the seat, SLAM - lands like a 747 with concrete wheels, breaking his bud can frame, as if he were at a toga party, yes a toga party in October..  TITanic rock - lots of takers, I wont bore you..  Everyone but focker cleaned it..  FOCK...  Remember luke - the pukecycle has 2 shocks..  Downhill HJ gets bounced around on his hard-tail..  GB realizes his bike is now a size 13..  Brick hucks in the leaves - NICE..  Onward back to havard county - I find a new rock.  Back to road, contemplation, calculation, not enough lactation so we ride home like weenies, find a new trail with 50 foot drops, ride them, back to road, to cars its still light out and im hungry for a blackeded californian..

Carbo-loading...  Im so drunk I cant remember where we were but it was in glastonbury (home of he radioctive enima), and they had wet beer, wet drinks, slow food and a waitress with nice mamories (ie she remembered all 7 identical chicken sandwiches, and a salad for wm).  BIg crew, bad conversation, good time was had by all..  Por ehemplo - QOTN - QM - "You swallowed it, he took it in the ass.."  GB still talking about his knee pads and lack of finesse on the trail, but im thinking he will need some panty liners for the next 2 footer he tries unless he gets some huck lessons for GI-J for 29.95, or one more free year of web hosting..  Focker wants a flash - so garter belt agrees to give him one later, trenchcoat garters and black socks - his new riding outfit..  More talks of ridicurouse bike stunts, HJ needs some engineering for his chain link of death ride, I can help..  Vacation, parties - GB to bring the keg, maybe once its empty and were drunk, Ill slice it up in the bandsaw and make him a real bike, which is pretty close to what specialized does, but they use beer cans in lieu of kegs..  GB and WM swallowed everyone's pickles but mine as there is "no team"..  web mistress-"can I have your pickle" right in front of GB - I was appalled..

rating - 8 make that 7 questionable sandwiches..  So its the mini strong mouse Olympics down in the cellar kitchen and there are 6 contenders..  The event - spatchula dogging - furball#1&2 get decapitated instantly and gets catapulted into the fryalator..  Next up the bowling ball lifting competition, great for pancakes - harry and larry get smushed - yup fryalator..  Event #3 - the flaming ahole steeple chase - minimouse and movie mouse get burned during their ass entrance.. Fryalator..  The moral of the story - when the whacko at the end of the table orders something that's not on the menu and everyone else follows - he gets a chicken sandwich - the rest of the table gets mouse burgers with guacamole sour cream with capers (oh those are eyeballs), on top..  And you wondered why it took so long..

"I like my guiness cold - like my lesbians - focker"

Rating for kids - one glass blender full of frogs and water..  Where else is little johny to keep them?? BZZZZZZZZZ crunch snap snap vvvvvvvv wheeeeeeeeeee..  OOPS wrong switch..  Transaltion, one green protien micshake, 2 small balls of deer poop on top for presentation..

Nice short technical ride with some velocity deficient participants and many mentally unstable riders..  Nice game - this was a good game - funny game - PM

PS - just some tips for GI-Jane's recaps..  I think he has a good starting base for recraping but needs a little work..  Too many short choppy non-run-on spelled correctly sentences..  Turn spell check off, use the force luke..  Rating system just seems to poke fun at me every time so that's good!!  Do I have to add some terms to the engrish to engrish dictionary for your writing style like "whistling show tunes" = riding to a porno beat..  And such??  I added some comments to his recrap in ITALICS so it is truely a mixing of the tribes!!