Couple emails and phone calls and we seem to have a bakers 1/2 dozen for the ride..   Perfect #, a 6 pack, plus a red fender..   So I almost First fell off my chair when LB replied, and then fell off again when he said DBS dead beat steve that is, is joining him..  A third time, I almost fell out of my car, when they showed up, no excuses, ready to ride..  Actually LB was more than ready with a pack full of water, turkeys, seringes, basters, gonadvill, SPARE TUBE, defribulator, and much much much more..   DBS - Relinquishes his nickname, gives me a 40 and a nice bottle of the GOOSE...   After this ride I guess you can drop the Dead and just become BS, Beat Steve..   So THMP, and I show up so freakin early there must have been a time warp, luckily the twins show up (DBS & LB), just in time to halt our pre-ride and check out THMP's bizzare brake fix..  And its a good thing, we notice 1/2 the bolts are missing or loose.. PHEW, so I scrounge, find some M8x1.5 and presta nuts in my Pocket of course, borrow some red stuff from LB and we are on our way..  Quick pre-ride to check out 2 trails, couple hucks on the main, back to the car.  Still no ugly blue SUV..  I call, there in carAmel on there way.. SO LWS and 3dm show up, all jazzed to ride with 3 bikes..  By the way we had an extra helmet, just in case..

***Sorry to interupt, but I just heard a loud crunch outside, ill be back..  Someone smashed into the tree across the street again..   Must be that curiosity factor of the handicapped child in area signs complete with bullit holes..  Anyway, I did my civic duty, directed traffic, took pictures of the gore and blue lights and shopped for some antiques at the local tag sale, yes its 10pm..

Back to the ride - So after I scare the crap out of the local equestrians during parking lot pre-re-riding, they asked me to chill out, I did.. We walked our bikes to the fire road like a bunch of sissies, "Have a good ride"..  Uphill, 3dm already biatching me out, big 20 footer, to fun down, rock jump, 1.5 huck..  More uphill, past rock jump to fun twisty singletrack loop..  1/2 way through the loop we stop for roller pics, Little bit further and DBS is already bloody..  Steep climb, I miss thrice, LWS nails it in middle one, spanking me once again..

****More distractions, focker just bailed on carbo-loading, too tired excuse, so I have the whole night to recrap, with a fresh Grey Goose and soda - thanks Dead Beat Steve..

Left on FR, log ride, new ST, LEft Right on downhill..  Steep roller, Just me and my shadow (LWS)..  Onward, more fun stuff, To 1.5 "huck"..  Everyone but DBS hit it, worried about bottoming out that 900 lb spring, cracking ribs, breaking fingers, getting laid off all that good stuff..  3dm still having trouble getting it up, or yanking hard enough, or yanking at all..  THQM didnt even QM it, LB sored high, hell I even hit it 5 times..  LWS needs a new name, I mean, Sh!t, I never even saw his weenie..   So LWS is now CBS, Crazy Bastard Steve..  Just to confuse things..  Onward, to walk the plank, LB shucked it, Tony hawk QM'ed it so many times, but suprizingly nailed it, then again for the camera!!!  Nice..  CBS and I rode some laps on it too..  Great 2 footer..  Bit further, snack time, conversation goes down hill faster than if GI were here..  Donna wants some gu and CBS is ready to whip it out, we insist on some privacy brush.. 

Ok, one more huck, CBS getting some good air time..  3dm wants me under the rock, I wasnt feeling that daring, worried THCM would fly up, lock the brakes and skid down it leaving 2.3 panaracer tracks on the camera lense..  Pics to come

New trail, OH - must insert new quotes here..  It started with "you can never get lost with a gps", then "you can never get hurt behind the seatt", witch THCM transformed into "You can never get lost behind the seat"..   So onward, cool trail, stream crossing, rocks we hit a TEE already, YES, more options.. I Deem the Keep going left method will work.. Where is Lawn BOy??  Its been a while..  There was some nice blue grass for him to trim back there..  Loosened head set excuse #, actually it was loose..  Double sperm burper up, only I get, everyone else got "stuck", I cleaned it, speaking of gay porno, someone remind me to send GI a peanut butter get well gift basket.. SHHHHH...  To slipery huck, mamma puke tells CBS to skip the slimery KY drop, he rolls the  AWKward 2 footer side, with style..  To fire road, more snacks, more uphill, 3dm giving me sh!t every 5 seconds about my red fender..   CBS broadcasts a cave find, goes in deep for exploration and comes out happy..  GPS tells me we are somewhere, even used the barbie method of plotting our location on the map I actually brought..  To FR climb, cool for a fire road..  Right on grassy slick rock single track..  Again.. Yes CBS the same rock..

CBS and I are ahead, I show him a nice 7 foot roller, he shows me a 7 foot huck..  This is why he is a bastard, landed it so freakin smooth it was like his rear never left the rock..

To Yellow "downhill", Lots of fun, some QM'ing, DBS nails a pretty nice garden down, meanwhile I ride into some bush, yup had to pull my scalded monkey out of the bush, then ride on.. 3dm nailing some pretty gnarly downhills, NICE..   Back to FR, Barely an up, cool rock piles, CBS takes the HUGE log route, gulp.. Back on the trail we already did trail TWAD that is..  To log ride, to 4 foot huck thats really 3 or so..  CBS does the combo 2.6 wheelie drop to 3.3 huck..   Does laps for the paparazi..  I even tried it, 2.6 smoothish, then hucked the 3.3 with accidental bar twising style and a good fender thud..  After LB sees the blur take one for the team, he HAS TO up the anti for the heckler lovers..   SO he hucks, lands square, square onto a pointy rock with a shotgun blast tube blow out..  Then proceeds to "ride the rim" and pulls off a nice dismount with 3 gainer camel hump roll..  Boy do I feel sorry for that rock, actually, he hit so hard, he may have created some diamonds, or at the very least some pubic zirconium..   Now theres no way THCM will try it..  Not a chance..  Quick CO2 blow and we are back in action..  Crazy roller CBS goes ITG (thats into the ground), but gets up unscathed after a couple photo-opps..  More stuff, I pose on the A-frame, and then, Rock to plank drop, CBS and I are lovin it, all 2 feet of it..  Rest of the crew is running low on energy so we rush back to the car and call it a day..  Great day of riding, 12.5 miles 1400 vertical..

I wanted to impress everyone with my new black stool (not enough fiber you say?), dam that sounds bad, my 4 legged stool I got on vacation, U-know at the outlet stores..  Anyway, seems everyone has these thangs as CBS and 3dm pull em out of there arses..  We sit, we drink, good game, lets go eat..  Typical circus tricks, Thrown out of the first pub for not smoking enough, to pizza one, too "cheezy", to chineese - takout only, what the F???   To Pizza joint 2, we get to sit down and relax!!!   THCM and I get healthy tossed salads, just 1340 grams of fat, chicken parm wedgies..  LB & DBS get Sail sized pizza slices..  Quote of the meal, as THQM picks apart his chicken sandwich 3dm says "someone doesnt like there chicken wedge"..   CBS replies "THATS BECAUSE HE IS EATING IT LIKE A FOCKING GIRL!!!!"..  Tooooo Funny, ok had to be there..

Good Game - RATING - 5 buckets, or shall I say 5 feet of TTT spider man allergy season snot, strung across the trail like the old 4 corner cheech and chong invisble man clothes line wrestling trick..  So your flying down the trail, james bond style with spiked motorcycle tires in chase, you duck under the snot, skidding like LB on a roller, russian cyclists get shlimed, you then huck your 4.5" monkey off the ski lodge roof and landing in the middle of a breast implant seminar gone bad..   The silicone samples break your fall, but you still need LB to whip out his defribulator because your heart stopped from all the excitement..

Nice free ride - Epic fun actually, I mean, it was worth the price of admission just to see the blur and the heckler make the ehhhhhhmmmm  4 footer..  QM will never believe me..

PISS - Some name changes if you couldn't figure them out..

LWS is now CBS Crazy Bastard Steve

THMP, a name a day will keep the nurses away, turns into THQM, but then that would somehow make him look more gay, so I was kind and made it THCM - Tony Hawk Contemplation Master..   At least he now has master in his name..  I guess you can pretty much assume if its THXX just insert your own initials, like since he doenst have a girlfriend, we could call him THMB, and he still has MASTER in his name....  Ok enough BEATING up on THCM, get back to work..  Im late..