Its 5:00, I just arrived at PMD's Hot house, where she held me at gunpoint and forced me to drive south to a small commuter lot off rte 25. I thought this was going to be the end as we all know about the bad stuff that goes on at commuter lots, but what do you know, the A-team was there to great us with bikes in hand..
So on to the ride, hosted by Brick the bad boy of mountain biking joined by tubeless shirtless hubless chainless Todd who just pissed himself.. The rest of us Shake & Butch, Rickshaw (fritz the satanic architect), J (boomhower), Puke (about to puke) and PMD + Last minute and short time additions Mellissa and Jon, (we can just call them 39, excuse #39)..
So brick and TT pre-rode like maniacs on some new terrain that was lame, but left TT with scars.. To the trail - First downhill with 3 chutes.. Brick, Boomhower and I did some laps.. PMD contemplated.. I think rickshaw was warming up.. #39 catching their breath.. Up some small hills, downhill to slickrock stream, more downhill.. There are drops everywhere, and brick and boomhower are launching every 2 and 3 footer in site, with style.. #39 bails before second stream crossing - I think the pace was too slow for them, god knows I was falling asleep, yup heading for a sweaty dirt nap.. Anywya - TT breaks his chain, we leave him and head up to the next stunt - picnic table drop.. Brick budha ride it, then me and rickshaw with a little contemplation - no problem.. Brick goes back and launches the 4 footer with style - he must have had his gonads refilled this am.. TT catches up but not before breaking his chain again - good thing he wasnt in the 24 hr race!! Onward to hairpin drop - brick cleans we all fumble for a while then finally get it.. One more steep rock ride, bunch more drops for the B-Bros (brick and boomhower that is).. Both riding really good.. No takers for the 30 foot 89 degree roller - whimps.. They did tackle the 5 footer though NO BRAKES.. I try to ride the little plank but fumble like a teenager with his hands tangled in a training bra. Yes, there was an "accident" and my front fork fell into the tight crack.
Stream trail back - quickest route - we are all pretty beat - TT floats under the bridge like a corpse from Twin Peaks, but appears to be much happier, in a possesed sort of way..
Ride is done, we are hungry.. So since brick is really a grown man trapped inside a 15 year old boys body, he decides to have a party at his dads house since he is out of town.. We follow - in search of food - and cold water.. We arrive to bricks wife and 7 kids - wow he wasn't lying to us!!! We always thought brick was kidding about the familiy.. Anyway - great time at bricks place - Swimming - great food that peggy bundy didn't cook up.. Chicken caesar salad, burgers, Que pasta suasta salad, lots of beer - shake and bake brought enough for the beer team (focker and trouble), grey goose and soda.. A record - the first time everyone from the ride made it to the post ride carbo-festivities.. Well except #39 but they didnt even finish the lame ride we did, so I guess they dont count..
Excellent ride - wasnt as hot as I thought.. Thanks to Mr & Mrs brickmiester for the post ride spread, and im not talking about the porn acts they perfomed for us in the pool house.. Much appreciated man - where the hell is barbie!!!!!
Rating::: 5 clear body bags are floating down the river, and you just watched an episode of junkyard wars and need transportation.. So you decide to tie the bags together with case mountain twine and bring your new high voltage night rider batteries on board. Just jam some long needles into the legs and hook up the batteries - you will be kicking down the river for days on re-animation power.. If it wasn't for the smell, im sure you would keep this setup for your 4th of july pleasure boat..
PS - Time for me to open the pool for swimming lessons!!! Bastard!!!