Meshomasic - I finally get to ride behind the legendary GI-Jane and side kick Mr X or Beastmaster.. Sometimes the nicknames just come so easily - its ludicrust.. Anyway - early 3:00 ride to test the helmet cam - it failed so I have to write you this focking recap and tell you all about the adventure.. Maybe next time I will just pretend to film and hold my fingers up like crosshairs (yes the middle ones indeed).. On to the ride.
Up to hell via fire road - then down yellow, following 2 fast riders and 3 not so fast dogs (Kona, one eyed bandit and big blacky),.. Miss the first drop, "manual" helmet cam the next couple - very nice, couple of 3 footers, just warming up (for these guys), I have to start using excuse #'s - riding with electronics - dogs in my way, neck is sore etc... Onward - to yellow gate - up to newish white trail.. GI-jane rides the mossy bank up high, contemplates the right drop, BM nails the left 4 footer with ease.. To rattlesnake rock - virgin mossy rock for these 2, and me.. GI jane goes big out of the gate, rides the trials route to the 15 foot rock ride, with style - the imaginary helmet cam caught it all.. BM - somewhat reluctant, follows with ease.. Now these bastards are looking for harder lines down the rock - I point out a few, which they clean with ease.. Unbelievable!! GI-Jane then rides the mossy side with the drop at the bottom, that looked seemingly impossible. Onward to yellow downhill - arrowead drop was never ridden so smoothly - I walked across the top of it and SQUACKED like a chicken.. I did ride the next 2.5 footer, of course GI jane just focking rolled it...
B-Line to new trail.. 500 mg 4 footer - GI cleans.. To mini slug, right behind GI, I thankfully bail out as I see someone removed the rock ramp!! BM just LAUNCHES it due to the warning.. So im following GI down HL's rock ride and of course he has to show off and do an inverted wheelie down it.. To Ledges.. Very little contemplation - GI launches the 7 footer twice.. BM's first time - lands it smooth.. More crazy footage, I get under the rock and GI FLY's over me at mach 1.. To 5 footer - many launches, dog traffic control as busy as ATC.. Onward - so impressive.. To Diving board rock - Kona even makes it look easy, the air brothers are doing some laps for the camera.. Back to car for a really cool 3 hour fre-ride extravaganza.. These 2 give the "a" team new meaning..
6 buckets of skinned rabbits all ready for hosifeffer stew..
Case - The parking lot rider coalition was huge tonight, I noticed single track grooves being warn into the ground as I set up my ass cam.. Moas and Al greeted me as they headed off into the woods behind a white cloud of smoke.. Our Crew = Anthony (Debut - alread has 2 nicknames - Ankle Biter and of course Strectch Nuts), LUTC, Focker, Puke, PMD (with shiny new Xterra - she wants to be just like ME - now has plenty of room for all her toys!!), HLM and later joined by Rookie, Rooket, sock stuffer and arnold..
Slug rock - Puke and ankle biter ride it tandem succesfully!! To Chair stunt, Focker cleans, AB doesn't even notice it, PMD gets 99% of it and crash's after a couple tries.. To new mini-double slug, AB follows, misses the ramp and luanches into the bush.. Stream crossing pretty succesfull, nice stonework focker!! Tight tree, many takers, ass cam first stops after ramp and almost kills focker - AB doesnt need no stinking ramp. PMD gets the tight part but misses the handi ramp.. To 500 mg drop - AB cleans, while PMD adjusts the camera with her hands on my head.. See Saw - never saw so much contemplation, hesitation and sheer frustration.. AB wants a tandem trick, since he had trouble riding it solo last time - that beetles song - "I wanna hold your hand " comes to mind.. HLM DONT STOP ON THE SEESAW!! Finally cleans it - twice for the camera, PMD rides the hard end of uprooted slug rock.. So everyone cleaned the seesaw.. To shark rock raft ramp - AB cleans it, I follow, Then reverse route up with spotters AB cleans, I dab for 7 feet, but clean it..
I hear red people in the distance - "SOCK STUFFER!!"....... "PM" - Hey I was right - so we head over to arrow head rock as HLM wants to do more stunts.. Sock stuffer gets a flat, borrows fockers tube.. Now you REALLY know why I didnt "lend you my tube"... Split rock stunt 2 tandem attempts, finally AB gives up, skips the transition ramp and launches the 3.5 footer.. I clean it, Rookie and rooket show up - didnt use the translator for the ride time.. Lots of laps for the camera man, U-turn to spur.. AB crashes on 1 foot rock - makes us all feel better.. PMD almost makes slug up - To new homeade ramp - HLM gets, PMD gets Pretty sleezy - To Fishbone, I follow PMD, focker do some laps.. TOO funny HLM stops - very reluctant - I guess its that 5 foot grave to the left thats intimidating.. This is along foking recrap... To captains log, AB rides it with ease the rest ride it for one foot... TO blind stupidity or magnet stunt - nemisis for most.. I follow AB, for an excellent tandem helmet cam shot.. PMD and rookie both equally frustrated.. AB & puke for another reversal, gap wheelie drop - "its all mental".. Onward to red to blue, ankle biter rock - take 2 gets higher with spotters.. 7 footer - I point out to AB "just a suggestion" - he forgets to lower the seat, drops it with style, but stretches his nuts like 14 inches to be exact.. Therefore nickname stretch nuts.. Excellent vid of him rolling around on the ground.. To top of ledges - focker takes off - we run into Gi - jane and nicknamess wige and Splatt on the rock.. Chat then sunset view, back on chimney trail, couple fun rocks.. Yada yada yada.. HLM rode so many fast miles, I wonder if he'll make it tonight....
Rating 5 full long hard minutes of anal electrocution, yeah as if the prison rape wasn't enough, it had to end this way.. Well that will teach you for building stunts on private property...
Nice rides, new riders, great riders, new trails, nice game good game nice game...
Next ride will be in approx 5 hours.. nastyhegon