Sunday - 69 02, we have a small but willing and energetic crew..  PUKE, PMD, Shake & Bake, TT (make that tubless, brakeless, seatless, shiftless todd) and last but not least the star of the show HOT LIPS  (the crowd roars)..   Hot lips was on fire from the very start (and I mean the very start when her car came flying down del reeves road she locked the emergency brake and did the perfect skid U-turn parking job..  Ok - Ill warn you this ones all about HL, instead of ME for a change..

    So before we even start the conversation goes DOWNhill as hotlips is talking about how she likes her "fatty", and she likes it because its stiff..    S&B was busy wearing himself down hopping around in circles on his new platform pedals...  Crash Test must be busy getting whipped at home or is most likely propped up on the bathroom for with his chin resting on a piece of porcelain..  TT brakes so many parts on his bike that he actually brought 2.. He was busy raving about the mexican dinner he had the night before..  I ran over PMD's shoes twice and it was off to the trail..  3-2-37 up-36- huge mud holes from hell, I cut TT of like 5 times and hot lips once 35 Hot lips takes the lead (thrity five - yes she is getting younger by the minute, it will be illegal to call her hot lips by the end of the journey), cleaning every hill and mud pit, S&B in the sweeper position, picking up parts from TT's bike..  To 34 s-turn rock hill, to 32 where TT lets out this nasty beer and beans fart that actually cracked his seat rail from the excessive heat..  "and I thought my lobster and ham omlett farts were bad!"-pm   Fockers - Bizzare bike fix 11a, 600 skeeter bites, smell those lilacs onward to 21 (I find a rock stunt that we built like 4 years ago!!) awesome downhill 18 lots of low branches whacking me in the head like a Chinese caning - PMD whipes out bad in the mud pit, I hurry with the camera but even though she was down for the count for like 5 minutes, I was too slow  17 - 16-15-13-12 left on fire road not on map..  Followed it too far but pretty cool some slickrock - power lines U-turn to single track not on map, YES I forgot the gps, so have to go back!!  Good S-track to new trail..  Lots of fun stuff on electric yellow section, couple small drops, then everyone did the U-turn drop with log, HL riding it like it was nothing tricks the rest of the crew..  Rock bridge ride, very cool..  Mini blind faith slug - HL and PMD clean after a few tries..  PMD had to show off and stop for 3 seconds on top before she let go!! "What goes up can definitely go down - way down" To 6' rock ride - I clean twice and HL sees the line, grabs some commitment out of her chalk bag and cleans it with a show off reverse 1/2 endo at the end, high fiving the crowd (who is roaring again)..   No one seemed to care that I made it - boo hoo..

      To big drop area, which is an awesome section to ride, catwalk tight rock (some clunking and scraping from the girls) - skip the 5 footer and ride to power lines..  Trail turns limey green, cool rock section up, lots of great techs - auto shift..  2x8, grave ride, I clean (like there was an option), several approaches from hogi yogi - all feeling equally crapy, the crew jumps in the grave for spectaton, encouragement and crash padding..  Back on the map - 58- up rock, I clean, TT pulls a nurse betty but grabs a tree instead of getting impailed  62 goat trail - end of trail new section left cool log then lunge then rock ride!!  5  Home on fire road!

Rating - Just 5 naked see saw riding babes, who keep filming themselves and sending me MPG's hoping to get into the bikerag movie..  Im sorry but I just can't portray mountain biking women as being so reckless in my filim..  You must wear HELMETS next time, then you may get your 15..  And instead of sending you donuts, im thinking of a sending you a care package of bic razors to get you ready for the next shoot...  Maybe ill send you some CUSTOM fridge magnets TOO, im thinking they will say "do not enter"  DOH

Nice ride, Just 12 miles and 1400 vertical - we are so lame  PM