Whacking it hard at NEPAUG

TCG's group and bikerag's alpha team, combined to make an epic group ride at nepaug on sunday.  This is who showed up (Crash Test, Puke, Hot Lips, PMD, tall dave (now pregnant dave), Frank,  lori and there huge crew  ____ insert 20 other names here, and at least 4 rabbid dogs)..  I get sheit' within 5 seconds of showing up from Quesadilla man (QM), because there is ONE missing trail on the topo map..  Blonde dressed like axle rose wants my X-flies alien jersey.  The Alpha Team lead by crash test, headed out first with crash (IN TRUE FORM), tumbling over the bars within 50 feet over a small log..  Gee maybe he'll have an off day for a change?  NOT - he redeems himself and cleans every other obstacle & stunt on the trail (in our defense, he rides here every day!)..  Not sure about anyone's name - sorry - so the guy in the orange shirt (OS), nails the table top rock, and following drop with ease.. Crash looked a little sketchy, but makes it too..   Onward the group splits between alpha and beta (based solely on helmet color), somehow we end up with ALL the freakin dogs because of Syd's orange coat and the other dogs wanting to get some, constantly stopping in the trail, fighting in the trail, humping, thrusting etc.. Probably be some puppies on the next ride!!  Yes I want some cry baby soup...Nice rocky singletrack!!    At least we got a live free sex show later on!!  Up the slate drop trail, the groups unite at the peak..  TCG (frank) just wanted to get to the post party so he mangled his cassette with pair of channel lock pliers.

    Short break (view - ahhhh), and its off to the new stuff..  Lots of drops, crazy switchback, Jaba the hut huge drop etc....  I whacked my knee after slipping on some roots..  To answer your question Yes, I "whacked it hard"..  I gimped along, took some pics and spectated, some nice ramps - CT "rides the big log" and flats his tire..  Rookie (only been riding for 2 months????!!!) launches the second ramp and does an awesome inverted wheelie landing 20 mph roller - very impressive!!  Back to the car PMD, CT and hot lips head out for another loop, I started icing and drinking..  To the "beach" in the x-terra - Hot lips gets whacked in the head with my "skewer" in the back seat and ironically is concerned about white "lotion " on her face..  Tall dave is pulling sandwiches out of his stomach..

    Corono, quervo, Huge vats of abosolute & sodas, quesadillas, funny hats and pinnatas were the norm..  Good time!  Did anyone get pics of the live sex acts?? Im sure the FBI would be after me again if I posted them anyway... Who was the freak who brought the asparagus.  OS maybe should be called VO for veggie orange because he blames any technical sections he missed on lack of protein (yes im sure we could all have a field day with this, but you should always respect someone wearing ORANGE!)..  Camp Fire Quesadillas were awesome (thanks QM), but nobody like my Idea of cooking them on the spokes of a wheel..  The bizzare bike fix that never happened!

Great crew, nice ride, good game, nice game, good game.... Rating - 5 full buckets of used condoms, its what there using for dampening to make the latest high tech front forks (illegal in most states), unfortunately, there is a defect and the fork shoots white "lotion" in your face every time you "go down", but my people tell me its a really smooth ride, and is available in APG Asparagus Pee green or TTMR that time of the month red..  Travel is adjustable by fondling the knobs on the stantions - (3"-6").. Manufacturer promises a safe landing 97% of the time if used correctly..  Just remember - "Do not foget  yo safety glasses", like my old physics lab professor told me.

PS - The shock above is actually being manufactured by Troubles gay cousin and will most likely be sold, out of the back of a white van, that is probably rocking, and had a trail of cheetos on the ground outside the passenger door..

I love it when a plan comes together! Nice ride  ~   PM