Crazy day today, I actually had to work, in between donut ring toss and forum talk with rookie.. So we rode meshomasacre tonight and had a nice tight group of 9.. Twas Me, PMD, S&B (crap I mean Tony Hawk Male prostitute), TTT, Brick, Rickshaw, GI-Jane, SCOOTER or steel neil back from his extended stay at the trane home of the mentally challenged, Sock Stuffer (or SS, with his doggie formerly known as derham, now the legendary GERM.. So if you count the rabid dog, who was obviosly high on copious amounts of crystal meth and gonadvil, thats an even 10.. Dishonerable mentions - I think Big Bird is spending some time up in the White Mountains.. QM contemplated the ride but couldnt pass up a night of buffy and forum chat.
Started off with lots of parking lot riding, I put on my bug perfume for GI-Jane so we could have a moment in zen by the ummmm beaver dam, but he didnt want to cross streams just yet.. Gave him some juice to keep him quite.. I bet the chilly air off the beaver keeps the turkeys read!! TTT, Scoot, and brick did some sort of pre-ride, with attempts of wasteland stunts.. So PMD is looking for the ladies room but germ keeps following her around, finally she gave germ the evil eye and took off like he saw a vaccine.. OK - Time to go - up - the wastelands, root beer feer in front, to insertion with white, Reft turn, up some rocks & logs, to fire road we wait.. Brick comes tumbling across hot lips log and becomes one with the ground.. Fire road stories of case mountain crash scenes, im not feeling so free ride tonight, im dizzy and Gi-noticed it WAS that time of the month for me, and the menopause and all.. So up to french fry, im pretty sure im gonna pass, but don't want to let root beer fear down so get lucky and land without wacking my balls, my green balls that is.. After the other night, I decided, I needed a third green ball, well actually there sorta brown these days, as I did spray paint them.. In any case I need a 3rd brownish green puke colored ball, then you can call me E.T. Eddie torres the extra testicle.. Sorry so SS redeemed his flight 800 landing from last year and cleaned it nicely.. Brick was a little sketchy, but he always gets the job done, probably distracted thinking about getting some more prison tatoos on his butt.. Oh - Gi launched the fry but was a little tentative, with the many loose rocks on the landing strip, so he just landed on his rear, and wheelied it out.. .
Onward, to downhill, Gi in front, Puke next, then TTT and the rest.. Caught one stick in the 3rd eye but didnt slow me down. Rest of the group congloberated at the bottom, onward, to fire road.. Had to QM the route, all opted for journey extension, Scoot was happy why he said "be easy on me" is beyond comprehension.. Straight to limey as per Gi janes insistion (heay another new word, to suggest and insist all in one moment) .. After a little mud it was sweet uphilling, best part was GI going ass over well ass on the 2 foot roller.. I dropped it for root bear fear of pulling a GI, bunch of other takers, PMD's 4th time was a charm.. Up over around green trail rocks - nice roller, Gi nails the 5 footer, to power lines, back on green TTT cleans the green tech line. GI still looking for the green door where his groupies wait in bondage gear, heads for the diving board.. P-twannnng.. To Fire road, to yellow up.. LIttle muddy, nice climb, slick-rock blender up, did TTT make it, not sure... PMD up front, still running on southern altitude blood.. We wait at the top, area 51, I guarantee all downhill to the car, GI compares that statement to "I wont come in your mouth".. Took him a while to bring the conversation down, think hes working too much.. I ask SS what is Mutts name is, hes out of breath and muffles so the best I could make was Germ. So thats the dogs name now - germ.. To hell, GI wont ride the 2x4 propped up against the oil tank.. To goat, all downhill except for the killer uphill, then downhill to the car.. Couple new idiotic lines, Gi airing over everyting.. Uphill, we wait for Scoot.. Finally a white shirt emerges from the trees hiking with his bike on his back, germ sees him off the trail and is in attack position.. Downhill - sweet lines, lots of rock, small gapper always good, gi finds a new dead end line while I endo in the mudd.. Slinky to the bottom and we wait.. Hours later I scouted up the trail for scoot, found him 1/2 way up and rode back to the group... New road construction proves a new endo line for GI, but he left his night vision goggles in his other car so were done, well done.. Scooter wants me to carry him to his car but manages on his own...
Post ride - The cellar - Small chicks and drinks, lots of great soon to be gone smoke.. SS forgot who he was in the presence of and admits to being a huge american idol fan.. Should we take him off the list, no that would be way too easy, plus, theres no freakin list now, just some sleazy chat room where you can talk to ankle biter 24/7.. Anyway, he should be punished for watching such trash, a new nickname, Im empty here, well he could be the American Sock Stuffer or ASS now.. I like the ring of that, especially if he ends up in the sweeper position, ok ASS is here now we can move on.. Tony hawk did ask if they ran out of chicken - the irony is, they did so they just cut the last piece up in 5 slices and served it up.. At least it wasnt cut into chunks huh AB??
Great ride, hardest 6.3 miles my legs have seen in 1.5 days!!! Great crew tonight !!
Rating - A very full 5 buckets, of personal massagers, on high speed, great for soothing those full on 24 days of riding in a row ass sores that are the size of tennis balls.. Or if you want desperately to get into the Guinness book, you can see how many you can shove into your orifices, you know like the guy with all the cigarettes in his mouth, but completely different..
Ironically, since I wrote this recap at midnight last night, I have been vomiting since 3am, 3am eternal - ohhhhh ohhh.. Focking southwestern quacimole chicken is about to come out my ass in minutes, I hope.. I mean I like puking up pukecycle color bile, but nothing beats a a good lower intestinal cleanout.. Did you know that at 3 am - the girls gone wild comercial is on every station?? Got so sick of watching it I resorted to the weather channel where I saw nothin but rain for saturnday..
Puke (quite litteraly)