"Dude, Where's my Bike?"

I crack myself up sometimes.

Here's a very lame recrap from my horrific Trumbull ride on Sunday, now I
remember why I needed a new bike. What a piece of junk!!!  Last year's dry
climate caused excessive and unnoticed tread wear on the rear tire, which
spun in the wet sloppy mud of Trumbull...when I finally got on some dry and
it finally hooked up, my chain jumped off my now perfectly smooth second
chainring...hey aren't there supposed to be teeth, or schprockets, or
something on here??

So the lame-asses from work I was supposed to meet at 10:00 weren't there,
so I'm riding solo...Bikerbating, I think the kids are calling it these
days...

After swearing at my tire and chainring for a while, I finally make it onto
the single track which has been excessively trail maintenanced.  (is that a
verb?) Any way, it's now blazed as the Red trail.  Expect large numbers of
morons to ride it now...oh like they weren't already...

Lots of freeriding fools in here today...I came upon a group of three of
them, taking photos of each other hucking a six/seven foot drop on their
huge travel Bullitts and Intense bikes. 
They try to get me to do it on my bike, but looking like the XC geek on the
ancient hardtail that I am, I decline.  

Continuing on I'm amazed at how clear the woods seem...I know I've ridden
Trumbull without the leaves before, but it seems different somehow...[start
twilight zone music]  hmm.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention that by the top of the first climb, I can barely
breathe. I blame it on allergies, when really it's because I'm so !@#$! out
of shape. 

I encounter a few more Bullitt-riding dudes, and then end up at the north
end of the ride, where I once again, get stuck under the Barbie low bridge
tree, which thankfully has not been maintenanced out of the way. I get lost
and find the remnants of an old mill...interesting.  Not the old mill, that
I could get freakin' lost in Trumbull.  

Anyway, back on the trail, bowling over some hikers, and down along the
river.  Quite wet, and a HUGE tree is across the trail, with log ramps on
both sides.  I'll do it on my new bike, but not with my current rear
slick...chainring grooves indicate it is possible, but it looks pretty
hairy.

Through the rock bridge across the swampland, I get stuck and can't unclip
my left foot (after I cranked the tension up in the parking lot, because I
kept coming out) fall over, and smash the outside of my left calf on a rock.
I kick my bike off, into the swamp, and then have to go get it.

Finally into the glade, where some more freeriders decide not to do the big
drop, because it's wet.  I told them they wouldn't be touching that part of
the cliff anyway...they weren't buying. 

The Serengeti is now the Serengeti flood plain. Very wet, and I almost fell
off a bridge into a large pool of water, no reason, just crappy riding
technique.

Down the hill, through some more mud, through the final rinse cycle, and
back to the car. 

So again I say, "Dude, Where's my Bike?"



Barb