The Die hard crew - Team crash, Brick, Tubeless Todd, and myself..  Trouble was going to join us but his gay cousin was in town.... so....  Anyway, not sure what happened to Melissa and company but you know how we like no shows ( I expect a new excuse list item here)..  SO in the parking lot brick notices a huge pile of condoms on the ground but is too dense to realize they just fell out of his car..  And although TT doesnt have any gloves, he opts not to use the latex on the ground..  Hey, wait a minute, maybe im the dense one here, trouble and his gay cousin must have met here earlier, since the highway rest stop was full..  Crash test warns us that he hasn't ridden in weeks - an honesty impaired statement I assure you - he later admits to riding the trainer every day - so who is your trainer CT??  Single track, to more single track, fun stuff, its pretty nice out, just a thick evil mist lurking throughout our whole ride..  CT warns of a wheelie drop ahead - I decide to roll it - big mistake, find my front wheel in a  HOLE of soft leaves, almost over the bars - not pretty, CT cleans it..  Downhill crash classic in the rocks a few spokes down the road..  Back to blue, my second light is broken, I have no brakes and no cry baby soup.. WHHAAAA....  Down blue sticks in spokes and pedals, rough ride for me, to green gate..  CT brings us to "mystery trail" where we find some cool ramps ct cleans, I did the drop with again no style points, brick was in contemplation mode, TT rode 1/2 of the first stunt..  Bushwack back to fire road, to wastelands - 2 see saws - yes its wet and crash is riding stunts, cleans the see saw to drop, we all ride the other sleezy see saw - very slick, ugly dismount..  Down to DEVILS kitchen..  I cant see shit, I have no brakes that are squeeling more than I am whining.  I keep getting stuck behind the seat and no its not a freakin personal problem..  Sloppy mess al the way down..  CT and I wait and see a light hit the ground and stay still for a while "someones down"..  So TT ate some rock and sliced the crap out of it..  Brick offers to piss on it right away (because piss is sterile)..  So is water, but far too precious to waste.. Trooper..  Up fire road, up blue, right on red (I sh!t you not), mello trail, couple near joustings, back on blue to car..  Quick bonus trail with more stunts, crash even passed on the off camber wet plywood ramp 6 feet high.. 

     Oharas??  Oflanagans?  omaras?? (I didnt drink that much)  for drinks and food, CT had to go run home and study..  So the waitress comes out with special sauce dripped all over her leg and brick is no where to be seen..  Food drinks talking trash about all you lame asses who rode the couch..  Dam I forgot to take a picture of TT's gash..  My neck is very sore..  home

Nice ride - I have to be PC on the rating because I have been catching tons of flack from local animal rights activists again..  So the rating is 3.5 tuna sandwiches....  Well they smell like tuna, but really they are kitten sandwiches, make that shaved kitten sandwiches with mustard and swiss cheese and onions and .... Damm im hungry again...   Deep fried night crawlers come with every sandwich platter, with a slive of bull dick on the side..

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