Westwoods 3-22-03

So what the hell is this? First Puke deliberately excludes me from a Case ride (that mysteriously appeared from "thin air") and then he emails me the recap link to rub my face in it? Puke, you're all class.

True, I may have told Puke I was going to Westwoods the day before, but what ever happened to a little professional courtesy?  Would it have been that hard to call me to try to talk me into going to Case with the bikerag wheel jockeys? (Admittedly, even if PM tried to talk me into the ride, I still would have gone to westwoods...I guess I just want to feel like I'm wanted (by everyone, all of the time)...hmmm...perhaps some abondonment issues resurfacing)

So anyway, in anticipation of being jilted, I organized a ride to Westwoods. The crew consisted of Ginger (with freshly painted purple-taffetta Intense --very nice --- I wish I was a chick so I could get away with riding something so sexy),  Poppy, Mr. Kotter, ATV Chris, and me, the self-proclaimed "Captain Xtreme" ( the X is for Xcitement (that X is for X-benedict (the last X is an unknown variable)))

Poppy says well do an X-C (F! Another X --- you're probably just as tired of them as I) ride to get some legs underneath for the season. We groan like little babies, ATV Chris in particular, as the seat height on his Arrow is about the same as a clown bike (he does later offer to sell the frame to me for $250...I told him I'd consider it)

So we get to the white trail. Poppy says we should go low and avoid massive hike-a-bike. I told him there was a massive hike-a-bike low and we should go high. We decided to part ways and he bet me that I was wrong.

So we meet back up. The bad news is that I was wrong. Pity poor ATV Chris, he followed me through many unrideable sections. The good news is that Poppy forgot to include an object of the bet, so I got off with a simple "you were right."

We head out to the railroad tracks on the white. Some mud out there (which caused ATV Chris to slobber in joy). Moved some killer hemlocks around so that the trails could be passable. Then we noticed that this had an unintended effect; some natural stunts were revealed. Talk about luck.

Mr. Kotter is taking it easy; he's got a baby now...my attempts to goad him into something reckless are proving fruitless (he used to be such an easy mark). He did redeem himself on a downhill that burned him 2 years ago (Which made him get rid of his p.o.s. K2 and get an uzzi) Ginger's bike is getting muddy, but is it still just as sexy. Poppy continues to hop up ridiculously high rock ledges.

I'm starting to feel like Mikey from Life Cereal. Crap keeps getting cleared off (for trail maintenance, of course) and then everyone awaits to see if I will try it. This role I can't resist (I beleive that I have become a notorious stunt-mark).

And then I go too far.

Screwing around on the red diamond, I try to ride a high line near a cliff. Well, I didn't quite turn where I needed to, and I wound up doing a little bit of a free fall to the earth 20 feet (o.k. outrageous lie -- it was only 10) below. My bike, like a devoted pup, followed me. I landed on my back, still alive, but my knee was throbbing. ATV Chris witnessed the whole thing, claims it "was very cool, I thought you were dead." My day is done...still able to pedal out, feel somewhat lucky I still am able to do so.

So here are some ratings:

Self-Aggrandizement: 98
Emotional Content:    83
Alcohol Induced Sweat    : 0 (No booze on Saturday night, incredible isn't it?)
Sexy paint jobs:    25% (only Ginger's Tracer)
Anklebrace comfort:    75 (it chaffed a little up high, but well worth it)


So anyway, the season is underway at last. I'm glad to hear Case is rideable...I don't know why some people don't care about trail erosion and rip functional bridges down...it's important we take care of the trails...y'all got to get back down to westwoods...some great new stuff keeps mysteriously appearing all of the time...it looks like I didn't quite get away scot free from my 10 foot free fall...woke up this AM with massive ride hangover --- my knee is swollen up...I only have 30 degrees of flexation (O.K. I think I made that "flexation" thing up; I don't know what I'm talking about)... trying to think of emasculating/obnoxious knickname for "Man with Swollen Knee"...maybe "Kneejerk"...or "Hi Knee" (can't resist 1st grade humor)...I don't know...need to get swelling down so I can reinjure it (or injure something else) soon...keep me posted...good luck to all this season

PM's comments - I was going to call AB but was afraid he would end out getting held up at one of the many rest stops between wallykill and casemart..  Like how AB exhagherates size - 20 becomes 10, just remember 16 will get you 20 AB..   Sounds like I missed epic trail un-maintenance, with a good 5 foot fall..   I still have your freakin kenda tires AB!!  Good recrap - pm