"You only Leave thrice" - a recap by 00PM

First a thanks to everyone who showed up and trashed the compound..   With all the empties that MOAS is returning today, he can afford to buy lunch on the mountain twice in lieu of saltine and relish sandwiches.. 

Who was there? - EVERYONE, just about so I may as well mention the cry baby soup team who didn't show up..  First and FOREskinMOST - Sock stuffer, he sent me a picture that explains it all!!  SS excuse pic.  Focker as you heard actually had to work - pimping himself out in Hohio to pay for his feckler.. He did get to watch the whole party via live hidden camera feed..  Got some great footage in the "royal suite mirrored room"!!!   Honey BUnny was trapped under heaving moving boxes but was freed this am from local coal miners...  Barbie was doing a gig in washington DC - some escort service transexual thing - gotta have hobbies!!    Ankle biter was too ashamed to show up dateless so he stayed online all night, berating women on the nemba forum after downing lots of BEEFeater..  SSK sent GI to the compound to scope it out first - I caught him calling her from my secret cell phone and urging her to show up just to see the decor (bet they want some pukemaster special interior decorator designs for there doll house).  So lets see - everyone else we know - showed up - except for pit and he has no excuse because he lives 75 feet away..

So the 3rd anal moas going away party is a GO..  First to arrive was, well... ME..  Next up moas coming home early to "smoke chickens"..  Hey no train wreck this year - another no show - actually it is against Canadian religion to party on tuesday night and eat combinations of lobster, sausage and dryer lint..

So - First to arrive was the Rookie coalition - Rookie, Cookie, Cookies bike, cookies "forks" and 3rd bent wheel QM, sporting some tasty quesadillas..  Instantly the seemingly empty compound transformed itself to that scene in "very bad things", right before they accidentally screwed and killed the Hooker.  Rookie rushed over here for the exact 6:43 arrival time, so I put them in front of the TV (like small children) and forced them to watch 28 minutes of GI-jane hucking shucking and man is it focking cold out!!...  So I dis-apear upstairs to check on my people... 

THPS - arrives no sushi rice in hand - DAM!!!  THPS & splatt start to prepare the sushi goods, Splatt strays to the darkroom and abandons boiling POTs and raw fish..  Eventually sushi team reapeared and 29.95 culminary lessons resalivated..  SOme great sushi - I didn't even puke..  Thanks guys..  Mad Dog and Moas's boss sal caught up on old times and most likely are forming a new company of engineers who work for 8 months out of the year..  PS that's WAY too many hours for me call me when you have the 6 day weekend worked out..  Crash test borrows my phone and calls every 1-900 number that QM will supply him with - bastards..

So everyone else appeared - GI went for a ride, im guessing with kona, in the bedroom as he had no visible frostbite and smelled of peanut butter..  He disappeared for a while but moas found him "changing" in the sports room - hey there's max the dog, Gi in his new gangster rapper outfit.. Happiest I've seen max in years..   Wheres the peanut butter so we can fill those celery stalks.. Anyway..   Rookie and moas bonded at the bar, then there was a compound tour that started and ended in the darkroom..   QM loves the darkroom, he could imagine storing many DVD porn movies there..  Which reminds me I should check to see if he's still in there!!!  THis recap has no flow, is all over the place and sucks but just bear with me...  So Rickshaw shows up with his signature health drink (grapefruit and gonadville and vodka)..  Everyone got bikerag.com custom cards..   Dirty Joe and GI spent most of the night sitting in small wagon, while everyone else took turns sitting on G'strings bullit that has only 3 cul-de-SACK miles, indoor riding a must..  Next year I will provide a wheel barrel for joe dirt in lieu of a name tag..  Hey sounds like a sushi boat replacement.

Gambajumbochowder is "on belay" - Ravenousely divoured in minutes..   Eileen was a big fan - still talking about it today..  The cull-de-sack brothers were busy upstairs playing pool with dead beat Steve & Al & moas..

Award ceremony - QM receives the first annual bikerag contemplation award.  GI "size does matter", gets the recap winner skuzzy plaque for his literary masterbaterpiece "I touch myself - at soapstone"..  PMD "deserves the ring" for her new blur that will be arriving in 2006. PMD was the hired photographer and did a fantastic job..  ESPN look out..  Candid shots of everyone, even in the bathroom and one psychidelick video.. GI talks to PMD about marriage he then quotes her out of context in an attempt to scare me or start a "fight"..

Franks breaks his new QR20 quick release trying to open a bottle of dos equis with it..  Alli gets a shock (after a trip to the bedroom with PMD) - Puke fee of only $300.00 HLM - show me the money!!  Shots, shots, shots - everyone wants to do shots - shots out of urine specime cups they found in the darkroom..   Yes I expect a urine sample from everyone who leaves the darkroom..  THPS - rules the climbing wall - I hear rumors of Splatt taking secret lessons from chuck - bastard..

Ok - its time to go - everyone left twice, then came back and left again.. Crash test had to go home and work work on getting some sleep..  Rookie left couldnt find his white car with all that snow so came back in to sober up, and then went home to get some sleep, but realized lost his cookies, so he came back, got his cookies and finally left..  I think QM and Frank and lori left 4 times each at diffrent times..  The compound - it draws you in, poseses you, and then stangles you with tequilla shots, even on a weeknight..  GI even got high off the belvediere pasta salad..

Rating - Robot orgy 9000 - This rating sucks Ill for warn you.. SLUUUURP... Just a 6 foot high clear pickle jar, with 5.75 naked lesbians cramed in there, jambagumbochowder up to their knees like quicksand and QM in the middle contemplating the use of  his brand new self bought xmas present, a 14.4 volt nickel metal hydride, black and decker, power dildo with optional HID interior light..  LEts hope this scene doesnt turn BACK into that "very bad things" atmosphere as the DNA and chowder chunks would be hard to decipher..  PHEW...

The moral of the story - Never miss a bikerag party and stay away from coat hooks during sex..

PM

PS - I also want to thank those who didn't show up as if we crammed any more people in the darkroom, im almost sure there would be some electrocuction or appearance of circus folks..

PSS - those people who thought the party was on wed just started arriving - no joke!!