It all started a week ago when HL, HLM and Ali (needs a nickname) are identified as the "bikerag crew" while exiting Case via Mountain Road. Ed talks us into leading a "small" group of wayward and but talented non-bikerag riders into the New Trail (recently renamed the Metavomit). A week later 14 people and 1 fast dog show up at the GSC parking lot. The everpresent editor PM had to return to Mephistopheles Road to get his full face helmet, consequently missing the ride and possibly preventing the end of the world as we know it.
The ride starts and impatient PMD demolishes the group up the first climb to the overlook. HL's mechanical problems continue as she gets yet another flat (at least she made it onto the trail this time), which apparently is beyond the technical ability of the tail end of the group and half an hour passes before the others return to sort it all out. It culminates in a discussion of who has the biggest pump (not to brag, but HL gasped when I whipped mine out). In the meantime, a rock lying in wait since the last ice age viciously attacks one of the riders. Remember, the woods are as cold and lonely today as they were 200 years ago, and the rocks are even hungrier! Severe ankle damage and it's off to the hospital. 12 riders left. PMD's heart rate falls out of optimal training range and 24 is on tonight, so she takes off and is never seen again- 11 riders left. Thinking this may have been a bad idea-At this rate it'll be down to me and the dog in about 10 minutes.
Blue to Red to Metavomit Spur and it's time to play. Lots of debate over MC 900 Foot Blind Faith. One of the newbies rides it. Another crashes off the top, hip-checks the rock, loses his ride and bounces down six foot drop into boulder field. (I'm thinking it'll take at least two people to drag his corpse back to GSC, so there'll be 8 riders left). Maybe 10 minutes was optimistic. One of this guy's ancestors must have done it with a cat, because somehow he lands on his feet (impressive HAS (Hospital Avoidance Skills)). I wonder if I can buy stock in Manchester Hospital. Maybe Jon should post the Manchester Hospital logo on bikerag and the site will finally start making money.
Off to the fishscale bridge, followed by more rockplay and huge wood at the large teeter-totter. The whole group rides it. The dog (clearly the smartest member of the echelon) considers it, but decides against it at the last minute and just hangs out on the big rocks and watches the mayhem instead. Up through a few more stunts, one more large scale crash when the descent bridge is missed off Crease Rock. Into the boulders again!?! (Doh!) Looks bad, thinking that we should have notified Life Star before we went in, but he's fine. God this guy is indestructible! Hey, we haven't lost anyone in at least 15 minutes. Off to The Chair, successfully ridden by a few, no crashes. Looks like we're going to make it.
More flats, getting dark, time to go. Focker's feeling cocky about successfully riding through so many deep water crossings, almost faceplants into the brook, but escapes with a soaked foot.
Apocalypse avoided. Newbie group gets bonus points for successful completion of every stunt and two gold stars for advanced preparation: Cold beer waiting in parking lot. Extra platinum star for the beer snob that brought the Spaten Optimator! To quote Homer Simpson "Beer, Beer, Bed, Bed, WooHoo!