WITH THE SPIRIT OF GIVING aHEAD, I decided to "go down" to case mountain for the pre-party ride and donate my lights and batteries to the needy (ie rambling boy (john budha), and crash test (now crash whipped)), but not before driving moas out to boringville for a $300 off "brake job"..  Listen to me now!!  Now damit - im not focking around.  

    SO some of my people actually rode from what I hear - the highlights were - crash whipped singed his dress on the burn gap.  I think the reason he missed the party was that he had to go home and stitch it up.  Or could it have been the fact that he left his feminine pads at home.  Anyway, he may be whipped but at least he made the ride..  SO down the red rock path, clueless leaders missed the illegal right onto the lower good stuff, to yellow, to blue, to blue yellow, back to blue, trouble taking up the rear?  To the fort, pmd takes an aggressive turn and wrecks her shoulder for the 4th time this week (yes bedrum accidents)..  Near death she eventually like a trooper, gets back on the saddle and rides home..  Barbie shows up a little late but does a ride anyway with another group - traitor!!  

    Meanwhile back at the compound, shake and bake and myself are busy cooking up sushi and what not..  Moas milling about trying to take a macro of something with his new digital camera (I think he finally settled for something down his pants)..  Max the dog, comfortably numb on the couch (smoke signals - ruf ruf) - the guests arrive right on schedule, ready to lap up the "doggie style" FREE keg (thanks al)..  Moas is busy smoking his pork, yes kids...  He is actually in the guiness book now for purchasing $30 off meat - yup and you ate it..  Talks of the good old drunk driving days, electrical hazards and last but not least my freaking limp wrist..  No drunken bike stunts this year - I know - very weak..  But at least the topless dancer with the clear bra finally showed up, then the second string weekday party goers from boston show up at 12:30..  Dam - dont they know I have to work on friday??  NO respect..  Jodi was there with his snowboard looking for some "mountains" to surf, but was strangely well behaved..  Just one climbing wall injury - April did a 5.4 martini dino on the breast wall (yes I guess that makes her more gay)..  Anyway, a great showing once again - thanks to everyone who showed up and wrecked the house (it gives me an excuse to clean it)..  TO everyone else who bailed - you can just fock off and die, or just show up next time for ridicule, ridiculouse bike stunts and raunchy conversation.  Excuse list will be updated soon with possibly the best/worst excuse ever!!!   Ehhhhmm  Mr Goekler..  

Good focking ride - (I rode soapstone solo earlier in the day so I can say that without being a habitual pathological lying bastard)

***** Rating - 5 course meal -, cry baby soup (watch out for bones), Chef toe cheese salad (with alfalfa sprouts - (thats in grown hairs with green puss drops)), Ear wax beans with fermunda cheese and accident underwear crust on top, salted asparugus tits (typo) basted with max the dog milk, and the main dish is what I like to call my meat (just for the ladies of course).. DOH.. chocolate cake with tofu enema (good name for our band) sludge on top for dessert.  Wash it all down with a tequilla and soda with urine melted ice cubes that still have the blue chemical stains from the toilet, and you have one full stomach of biological warfare about to explode like the fat guy from monty pythons meaning of life - DO I even need to tell you to have just one more thin mint before retiring your bloody infected gums for the evening??

PM