Bastard here and 'tis the season to climb! Ally, Pam, chris and I met
in wallingford (chateau de ally) and headed to ragged mtn in southington
- between my "special" parking spot and 24 hour package store
connections, chris was starting to realize that I was connected. Short
hike up to the small cliffs - ally and I (mainly ally) set up the top
rope which little did pam and chris know was connected to a 2" rotten
branch and sketchy (cracked) piece of rock (we were only 5 ft from the
ground). I was volunteered to climb first - why does this not surprise
me??. I was on the 5.9 to nowhere to 5.7 route that toasted my arms.
Next up ally - 5.7 crack - she was smiling, ecstatic even - cruised
right up it (lots of crack action). Now chris - First time on rock -
first attempt no problem right to the top - later though he seemed to
forget how to climb this route (couldn't seem to handle the crack) I
gave him a ginkgo balance bar - but it didn't help. Now pam - First
time climber - ever - ally first inspects pam's butt closely and deems
it ready to bounce off the wall. I was ready to give a second opinion
but no DICE. She did great - half way up though her fear seemed to be
holding her back, courage is the principal trait that she lacks, she
tried to calm her nerves so she could think - she poured herself a nice
stiff drink, and another...... sorry for the MC900 tangent. Anyway, on
the way down she freakkked out a bit, stiffened up like an ironing board
and bounced off some rocks - good thing ally got her butt ready.. After
calming down she got used to the repelling action. In the meantime ally
was busy with some "magic fingers" Im so F#$#@king jealous! Ok so we
did like 6 climbs each and exhausted every muscle. Highlights were
chris's foot in the crack, allys hand and foot in the crack, I put my
whole damn torso in the crack and I think pam had her butt in the crack
at one point, but there was a whole lot of crack talk going on and I was
appalled. Later the conversation elevated to nuts and buns. Back to
the car, we saw lynn the parking attendant who inspected my car for butt
prints (just one) charged me $15 and let us go - she was too hung over
to join us (that is rare). To the grocery store for FOOD, we bought
enough for 12. Back to ally's we fired up the grille, cranked music
(techno dance party), chips salsa, tabouli, beer wine, vodka, I fixed
the light and then broke a glass. Our picnic was over soon as the
downpour started, so we moved it into the living room. Apparently I was
elected to be outdoor torrential downpour hurricane chef (OTDHC for
short), so I headed out with a spatula, some shorts (I think - therefore
I'm drunk), oh and a small styrene cooler on my head - what class!! 2
minutes and I was soaked. Food was great and the rain...well FUK dat.
The evening ended as usual with a 3 way sex orgy (right after chris left
- sucker) on ally's bed-couch-weight bench-dog cage-and of course the
kitchen table leaving only the kitchen sink for cleanup (dishes ya know
- what are you people sick!). And of course ally is complaining about
soar hips - heh heh. Well you asked for it you got it - 1st climbing
recap had to be brutal, I will be kinder next time - or maybe not.
Seriously folks - nice climb - thanks for the instruction and
hospitality ally.

Bastard

P.s. was that too vulgar for you - if so - write your own damn recap
you lazy limabeans!! Chris make sure and bring your magic fingers
tonight. And girls make sure and bring your g'strings and sports bras
(or didnt those get washed last night??)