This recap is all about me! any references to other riders and
climbers and innocent spectators is purely accidental. Bad things,
deaths and NOW people giving me sh!t all happen in 3's.
Wed - case - (the new k-mart of mountain biking). PB and matt give
me a hello and goodbye. #1 PGMS was jack from the bike shop TELLING me
to turn down my radio (not like I was listening to smack my bitch up...
think it was firestarter) anyway- what a nob - oops is he on the list -
oh well. Like I dont give him enough business ya know.. I dont mind
when people tell me what to do when its like drink this or smoke this or
tell me if these feel real!! OK enough.... Tracy (happy belated
b-day), pmd, lost loyd, circling steff, seniore' bail alot , PIT (cgm),
mark the candle, sproket (lets dance!) the dog yip yip, and myself went
for a 7 ish mile loop (ctc would have lapped us). Loyd & steff bailed
early and did a 14 mile ride showing off their nightly navigation
skills( I think they were bored with us!). SEniore P' - hot flashes
again, and PIT and I do a role reversal. PUkecycle munched a pulley,
and pmd wanted some Cry baby soup, but only to warm up. We all cleaned
the slickrock by the way. Nice ride. Sorry about the tech's.
THurs - PGMS#2 - so this guy is walking his shopping cart through
the g-store parking lot and I zip into a space in front of him. So into
the store the guy turns beat red and confronts me "He you know I should
have hit you with my cart back there... driving like that" blood
vessels popping "what are you talking about?" "outside you cut me
off!" sweat beading up "OH sorry were you in a crosswalk??" confused
"umm no" "then you are fair game" confused "huh - what" "maybe the
next time you are thinking about a demolishon derby with the xterra you
should choose a vehicle heavier than that shopping cart" "uh sh yuh"
"have a nice day"....
So CTC (chris the cook) and I do a day ride at the res and while Im
waiting for him PGMS#3 - these 3 mtbers in red nemba coats ride up to me
as im riding around the lot adjusting the pukecycle. I assume they came
over to admire the bike but they yell at me to "wear a helmet when I
ride here" - "im not riding - see the car... doors open and helmet on
the hood... DUH" they give me even more sh!t explaining how you can
drown in a teaspon of water and crack your skull open on a pebble - lame
ass mother f'ers... Anyway CTC and I do a huge loop from WH, to hublein
tower and back. SUper fast pace. Yes CTC rips, kicks my ass. We have 3
flats (one double), bushwack and still make it back just in time. 16!!
miles in 1 hr 59 min., no stopping, not even time to sweat. We plan to
just ride and fix peoples flats... impressing them with our pit crew
style in the future.
Thurs - climb PC - Barbie is naked at home and we still climb...
Figure 4 mike returns from the dead, seniore P, shake and PD climb
inverts and 5.11+ only. FF does a new move showing off on the 5.8 red
invert its called the figure 4 flop!! FF and shake have trouble getting
there hands on a brain. I flopped on 5.11d black and 5.11d/12b+ green
flailing 2 ft from the ground. MF pulls her top down to distract me (I
wont tell PMD).. I did nail 5.11 red and 5.10b red anyway. seniore p
almost nails the 5.11 slab. Shake did not make one climb. #11 rudley
schools FF on green white stripe, and I pass the info on to MF who gives
me sh!t.. PD went home to box eachother up for moab (who's is going to
send them??) Trio at the smokey bar SP "can I have a "fork"" sorry
gary no crotch divers tonight. shake "flies on my dick" and "hey fatboy
asshole im gonna kill you who killed your mother" big guy in overalls
giving dirty looks.... Bunny girl.... leather pants... Need I say
more. megan our favorite waitress dissed us. Garry and I both have
dessert (dont tell PMD). I listen to seniore mixalots new easy frida 2
that is supposed to be more upbeat, yet I was crying like a 3 year old
who didn't get a lollypop at the bank drive-thru by the time I got home.

nice ride, ride, climb, rating - just 4 chinese stars, sticking in your
favorite pres. candidates face with of course flies on their dicks!
DOH. bzzzzzzzzzz.
****

PM