Splatt crackle and POP! - BY THPS - Edits by puke in GREEN

Its monday (hump day for me) and we decide to take the flower street express commuter route down to PC..  Splatt is chauffer in the low rider mobile - Im in the back seat where I hear its safest to be in a crash.. Focker up front, decided to start going to church so his prayers will be answered..     Splatt is scrunched down in the drivers seat so low he can barely see over the steering wheel, and before you know it he's trying to have mulitiple cell conversations and drive..   Our route to PC looked like a string of spaghettie on the map..   So hes talking to patty, and rookie at the same time, I borrow fockers phone, call him and tell him to hangup and drive..   All 3 of us arrive like clockwork, 6:00, all at the same time once again!!  Its uncanny..   Speaking of cans thats my first stop when I enter the gym..  FOck - Line..

It monday the 13th - good omen - so we show up at PC for some torture. PM and Focker are warming up (at least that's what the kids call it these days) and Splatt is waiting, shoes and harness on, for me, Tony Hawk Pro Skater (or dancer you be the judge), to finally show up. After all, it is 6:02.

I warm up on skywall 5.10 and clean it - (bow, bow, bow - applause - the crowd goes wild) finally - im so focking revealed, lets go - smokey bar..  Focker warms up..  I try to give some un-beta on the 11 red..

While I'm strapping on (my harness), Splatt introduces me to Jennifer, who immediately asks what level we all climb at (some of us think she's a spy sent by GI to see if we actually know what we're doing). We lie and say we don't pay much attention to ratings (you didn't hear it from me, but word on the street is that when GI's not out shoveling Case, he's at Sucky Gym practicing his climbing skills) ((Look at that - he gets press even when he's not there!! bastard)).

I'm up again, so its on to the 5.11b(- -) (that's a minus minus, not asian boobs) red+white checkered route in front. Frop in the middle, but eventually get to the top (should have listened to focker now instead of believing him later)..   Jennifer's up again, this time I make Splatt belay so I can rest (I have to clean this crimb tonight).

While they're over next to the breast wall, I watch Focker flop on the stoopid red 5.? next to the door to the back room. PM still tired from the skywall, so I'm up again - back to the checkered route.

Using beta from Focker (hook the arete!) I still don't clean it. I get back down and see Splatt with a look of extreme agony on his face across the gym. He seems to have dislocated his shoulder, but forgets to yell "trouble!" at us to let us know what happened. We untie him, get directions to the nearest hospital, and after a lengthy questionairre (how did it happen? does it hurt? on a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you in? etc...) by the PC officials (official what is the question), we're off to Meriden. On the way out the door, I fail to point out the "No Whining" sign above the door. Probably a good thing.

PM, driving the Splatt's blue rocket (the car, you perverts) screeches to a halt in the ER parking lot. Splatt wincing like a cry baby as we air over every bump with his cement filled shocks - fock your shoulder, my back is killing me. We bring him in for another round of questioning (name? DOB? address? on a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you in? etc...) We wait, and wait - now its been about 45 minutes and poor Splatts arm is blue (at least it matches his car now). Finally, PM shows the doc how to pop it back in, and we just have to wait for the Xrays. In an effort to keep Splatts morphine- soaked mind off the pain in his shoulder, the conversation goes downhill almost immediately. We notice the sign in his room that says "Your nurse for tonight: Patti" and try to cheer him up with the promise of a sponge bath from Nurse Patti. Nurse Harry turns to us and says - "she's gone for tonight - I'm on sponge bath detail." Oh well - sorry Splatt.

In the hospital - "hows the pain 1-10", I chime in 5.10a..   Later I ask the doctor "so will he be able to climb tomorow"??   Nice gerny - dont you have a skirt or something for him to wear??  Oh, it kind of looks like a skirt..   Splatt "this morphine is great - I can really see how someone can get hooked on this stuff"..   Im going to come back here for knee surgery ive been standing so long..

Discharged (from the hostpial) and off to Sapporro for sushi. We're the only one there, and make up for it by ordering enough food for 12 people. Focker and Jennifer, who stayed to climb some more, join us, and Rookie even called to say hi.  Great food, epically silly conversation about windows and stunt trails..   Sent splatt home, with the suicide shift setup, someone buy him a hands free setup, for snackerbating, not for his cell phone..

Called focker from the sushi bar he responds "im comming"...  Hmmm  I wanda??

Rating - 3 gunshot victims, 1 sheet rock accident, and splatt's the one surrounded by 6 doctors, nurses and technicians...  Hooked up to the machine that goes "bing", they insert the new shoulder bionics and he will be back on the wall in no time. OH the rating, 5 lesbian male wet nurses tugging on all of splatts purple extremeties for a lifetime of hell, clouded by the airy  bliss of a morphine-six high... all I can say is "rub a dub stub"

Nice crime - THPS & PM

Nice recrap THPS - thanks for getting the bisson balls rolling on this one.

Get well soon Splatt, your belay technique and effiecient belay rotation skills will be missed !!  You should be better by your 129th birhday